I remember this day so clearly, as this was the day that I felt deeply touched and at the same time in-creditability quilt.
My mood was totally spoilt after talking through phone with my husband, after he has sent my 3 year-old daughter to playschool. My husband told me that my children, the 3 year-old big sister and the 1 year-old baby sister were skipping their naps. I am a mother who is very particular on my children's nap time. I really hate seeing them yawning and looking relatively sleepy when I want to read and talk to them in the evening. I definitely wanted to find out who was the culprit for causing two of them to lose sleep.
When we reached my nanny's house, I straight away questioned the nanny that what has gone wrong with my children's routine. She told me that my 3 year-old was the one being very playful and noisy, and caused the baby sister fail to take her nap.
I was so annoyed and impatient to see my 3 year-old girl, who was still in her playschool that time. When I got her into the car after her school had ended, I scolded her for being so naughty in the afternoon, and as the culprit of causing the baby sister to stay awake. Without giving her chance to say anything, I kept on lecturing, "Mommy told you many times already, you must take your nap, and your sister also needs to take her nap. If you cannot sleep, you mustn't make noise, you mustn't be so playful, and you mustn't be so naughty, you know you..........” I even started to use my palm to slap both her tights.
My 3 year-old daughter was just silent, so as the father. I still continued to nag her, "How many time you want mommy to tell you this? Mommy doesn't like you and your baby sister to skip your naps. You must take nap, otherwise.....” Then, my 3 year-old quietly put her hand inside her school bag. I saw her taking out a card, and she said to me timidly, "Mommy, teacher said I have to give you this card.”. I suddenly lost my mind on how to react to her. I was angry at her and she passed me a card. She made the card at the playschool just now, during the time when I was waiting to give her a bad scolding, and also thinking hardly how to punish her later.
After looking at the card closer, my heart was melted at once. It was a card for me; it was my first Mother's Day card. Oh my god! She had been waiting for the school to end. She eagerly wanted to show me her first Mother's Day card. She was looking forwards to my compliments, but .... At the minute I saw her, I had started to blame her.
Why? Why? Why my first Mother's Day card was received in such a bad timing? Who's fault? It was me. It was my fault for not accepting anything out of plan. It was my low EQ for not able to control my own temper. I should blame myself for ruining my 3 year-old daughter's day and my own day. I should have known that I couldn't have anything in control all the time. If I could take a deep breath and let it go, it would be a better evening for everyone.
Since the day, it was only 3 days before the Mother's Day, I learn to forgive the mistakes, I learn to accept the bad, I learn to appreciate the good, I learn to tolerance more, I learn to be patient, I learn to love more and hate less, and I continue to learn…., for you my loved ones.
All in the mind…
3 hours ago