2010-11-15

Change is always constant

I have thought of being a SAHM when April starts her primary 1 next Jan. My husband and I were talking about this a couple of months ago, whether it is ok to go for single income after I resign. However, my early retirement plan has to put on hold, because my PIL has decided to stop selling the economy rice last weekend. Since the elders whom had worked for more than 40 years wanted to retire, we shouldn't have any excuse, but to give them the priority.  My MIL has volunteered to help me babysitting my kids when I go to work. My FIL also offered to help fetching and taking my kids to school. My PIL want the grand daughters to keep them acompany during the day, so that they won't be too free at home.

I really appreciate their offer and help. On the other hand, I also have so many concerns for transiting the child care from my babysitter to my PIL.
1. Can my MIL help tying the girls' hair?
2. Can my MIL help washing their buttock after pooing?
3. Can my MIL help bathing them and blowing their hair to dry?
4. Will my FIL spoilt my kids and let them break all the routine that I have set?
5. Will my MIL make them go to nap in the afternoon?
6. Will my kids love staying with the grand parents?
7. Will my kids cooperate with the grand parents?
8. Can I have a peace of mind at work when my kid are with the grand parents?
9. So far, I have not a bad relationship with PIL. Will this relationship spoilt after they've help me taking care of their own grand children.
10. Will this change bring more arguements to my husband and I in future?

I know I can't have all the above questions answered, unless I try it out, right? Am I a person who think too much?
Some said change is always constant and some also said change is always for the best. Who can help me to evaluate whether the change of my child care provider is good?
My princesses with their grand mother at PIL's rice store.
I have too many uncertainties in my mind.

20 comments:

  1. I can feel you, Yan. I had been there when Ian was in kindy. He spent most of his weekdays in my parents inlaw's house. Though they're dedicated grandparents but regretably things didn't work out so well when disciplining and coaching in homework are concerned. I may be panaroid, that's what my husband always says but I would rather be a hands-on parent after what I've experienced.

    Anyway, can April be brought home everyday so that she can have some evening time with you and hubby before sending her back to the inlaws in the morning?

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  2. I was pretty often stayed with my Grandma when I was at April's age. My Grandma however, she was talkative, but not in the 'school things'. I was close with her that time, I love her taking care of me :)

    I hope you will find the solution and discuss it with your Hubby and girls so you can minimize the negative things. At least you should give the girls a try before make sure of your last decision. ^^ Have a nice day yah

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  3. My kids are always for day care only, all will be back in the evening with me.

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  4. I have thought of being a SAHM too. I do think the parent's role become very important when they start schooling.

    But kw and i just talked and talked.. we havent seen some lights yet on how can we do that.

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  5. Until every uncertain becomes certain....

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  6. LOL, my most concern will be number 4 and number 10! Grandparents sure give a lot of 'allowance' and excuses to spoil the kids, it will eventually bring a lot of disagreement between both parties... and the victim will be the 'Kap Sum Yan'(your hubby)!:D

    Anyway, GOD knows what will happen if we didn't give it a try!;)

    Cheer up, have a nice day!

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  7. cheer up ,ah yi, dun make urself think too much, take it easy.^^

    i m here add oil with u, as like u always ask me have to jia you^^

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  8. We chinese always said "家有一老, 如有一宝". If we close 1 eye, open 1 eye, then things can go smoother. Perhaps for the beginning, abit kelam kabut kot. As time goes by, I'm sure both PIL and your angels will get used to it. I'm like u too, always think think think. Don't know really can or not. But like you said, never try never know loh Yan. Or maybe you can get your husband to tell PIL those things utmost first loh. :P to avoid misunderstanding.

    As for myself, a bit siao lah, i rather resigned and take care of my Yin Yue myself. hehehe..

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  9. I would have my concerns when come to leaving my children with my in-laws - utmost is the pampering / spoiling part.

    Anyway, observe them within a 'probation' period and make your decision later... Yes, change is always constant =)

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  10. Hey Yan,

    It is definitely not an easy decision. If i were you i would let the kids stay on with the sitter :) That way, there will be less friction in the family :) Just my 2 cents :)

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  11. A very hard decisions. But never try never know. Just have to close 1 eye and compromised when necessary. Definitely whatever the elder (PIL) do/did are for your family's good. It is normal to feel worried. But to resigned is not a good choice. Just my 2 cents.

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  12. Hi ladies, thanks for all the comments. I read through and get to know a bit more on what you think of my issue. Thanks a lot.

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  13. Hi Sheoh Yan, hey....don't go worrying over unnecessary details.
    You have to give them some credit, ha ha.
    I'm sure they will be good with your kids, besides its good they too learn be more independent....

    They'll be fine.....kids adjust very fast....and you'll have more time to yourself too.
    Here kids as young as 4 are put in daycare from 7.30AM till 6pm when mothers or dads come fetch them.
    As well there are babysitters who look after babies while mom goes to work....whole day too.

    Nobody has a maid here, or grandparents, and maids, only the rich do.
    So, its the above or no money, ha ha.

    You stay easy and don't worry too much. Have a nice day, Lee.

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  14. Don't worry so much, Yan. There is a saying: "When a boat docking, it will sure be parallel with the quay". Your girls would be fine in your PIL's hand.

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  15. I feel the same too if i were in your position, unfortunately my parents in law are no longer around. I send both of my girls to tuition teacher home,only fetch them after work.

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  16. I must say it's not an easy decision. But I think it's not that bad leaving your girls with your PIL coz your girls are well behaved and they listen to you most of the time. It's ok to discuss with your in laws about certain ways that you would like them to follow. I'm sure they will understand.

    Try first and see how. If it doesn't work out then go for Plan B lor. Don't stress yourself too much.

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  17. Yes, this is definitely not an easy decision. It took me 7 months of consideration before quiting my job to take over the full-time SAHM job and "took back" Chloe from my in-laws who have been looking after her.

    Since your girls are quite "grown up" now, I guess all the important values have already been instilled in them. I don't think your PIL will be able to spoil them until beyond help. Do give your PIL a chance/try, after all the girls are their grandkids. I'm sure they want the best for the girls too, right?

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  18. the best choice is to take care of the children ourselves.we can mould them the way we want them to be.when it involves the 3rd party....situation will be more complicated.

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  19. i would love to be SAHM too when i get married. but huhu, see lor how, we can only plan . huhuh

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  20. Dont think too much 1st, everything has a solution.. Perhaps give it a try 1st?
    Anyway, wishing you all the best!

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