Am I pushing myself too hard?

12:02 Yannie 26 Comments

I don’t think that I am emotionally stress, I am more to physically stress.
My stress is due to several factors as below.

  • Overly demanding sports or exercise schedule without adequate rest
I am addictive to exercise. Skipping Zumba, hiking, yoga and running make me feel guilty. I engage in two rounds of exercises on most weekends. My body is worn out.

  • A hectic lifestyle which can lead to physical tension and shallow breathing
May was not doing quite well in her March exam. I blame myself for not spending enough time to guide her. I make it a point to check all her homework every day. I check her mathematics questions, I review her English, BM and Chinese activity books. Besides trying to accomplish all my duty as a mother and wife in my family, I am also striving to perform as competitive as I can at work.  

  • Lack of sleep
I am always running short of time to do so many things in one day.  I wake up early (5:45am) and I sleep late too (11:30pm). Because of all the stress, I do not obtain quality sleep that I need badly.
As a result, I feel tired and sleepy most of the time, but I try to hide. I get agitated and angry easily, but I try to suppress. I feel down and tensed up too, but I try to cover.

Obviously, my complexion reveals the truth, I have broken out to a few hormonal pimples on my face. My skin is not as glowing as before due to hormone imbalance. At the same time, I lose some weight which I can tell when putting on my working pants.

I am longing for a holiday, which I can take a break from my routine. I can’t wait for the next school holiday. I want to rejuvenate my body and relax my mind.

Luckily I still can pen down my mind here and be truthful to myself, in order to feel a bit better. 


26 comments:

  1. I think trying to figure out why you are so stress is also a very stressful thing by itself. To me, taking a holiday is like cigarettes (minus the addiction), it makes you happy and is good to go for once in a while, but I doubt it will help much. The moment you get back to work, within 2 days you will feel stressed up again. I think it is more important to re-calibrate our expectations and learn to prioritize and let go for a bit. Nobody is perfect and nobody can be superman/superwoman to accomplish everything.

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    1. Thank you very much for your comment and I really appreciate it. You have a point and I like when you mentioned about re-calibrating expectations, learning to prioritize and letting go. All three important points that I need to hammer into my brain now.

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  2. My girl (Primary 4) also not doing well in March exam but all passed. I understand that the syllabus changed this year so the transition from P3 to P4 is a big gap. So I am sure she is adjusting to the new syllabus and hope this round, she would adjust well.

    You need to rest. From the look of things, you are pushing yourself too much. Like last time when I worked, I went to gym twice a week and jog once or twice when is free. Other days (especially weekend) are rest and for family.

    A good holiday is good to reenergise. School holiday is few weeks away. ^^

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    1. They are having their May exam this week. I hope they can excel this time as I have spent time guiding them, especially the primary 4 one. Yes, it is true that the new syllabus is tougher for P4. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Rose. I appreciate it very much.

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  3. Just my 2 cents.. Why stress yourself.. Your girls are big already, this is the time to relax a little.. Yes, they school work and performance very important too, but no need to the extent to stress yourself becoz of that kua.. You exercise, yes, that's good, but please do takecare of your body, so you still have the "sum gei" and "ching sun" to guide the girl's homework and do housechores too.. Everything in moderation ya..

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    1. Princess Ribbon, thank you for your comment. I have started to re-adjust everything and moved in slower pace. I am very particular in their studies, that is the stress that I have created for myself.

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  4. Stress is a dangerous killer..I learn not to bother too much on certain things, like house work which I know that's only that much I can cope..exercise is another thing I am slacking..I am also feel tired all the time, I have just told myself that I need to detox..Yannie, take a break on weekends to rest and be lazy once in a while..hopefully you we get less stress out.

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    1. Dear Agnes, thanks you for input. I agree with you. Stress is no good at all for our health. I feel so much better after pouring it out here.

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  5. Yannie, I think you need to let go a bit. I know it is not easy for you to do that but you have to try. Exercise is good but too much may not be beneficial. I can understand that your girls' academic performance is important to you because my mum used to stress out during my exams last time LOL! I hope you can figure out how to balance up on your time management. Sleep is very important and hope you can catch up on that.

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    1. Dear Phong Hong, thanks for your kind thoughts. Exercise, my girls' studies and work - all are important to me. You are right that I need to balance up my time and catch some good rest when I can.

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  6. Moderation is the key, exercise is good but overdoing it might be detrimental so always have a balanced lifestyle, it is time to prioritize, I agree with RG says, nobody is perfect and there is no perfect lifestyle, sometimes it is ok to have some flaws, sometimes having some flaws have its beauty

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    1. Libby, thank you for your concern. I need to slow down my pace from now on.

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  7. The best is to alternate your workout and sleep enough. I run on a day, the next day I workout and follow back by running. Else, cut down on the workout time if you do too much daily.

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    1. Chris, yes are right. I must try to skip one or two days in a week for my exercise routine, so that I won't feel so guilty when I really need to stop exercise for one day.

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  8. Take it easy Yannie. It is not easy for May to stay at the top all the time. I believe by 'not doing quite well' means she is actually ok but might slip a little. She will do better the next round. Have faith in her. Don't stres yourself up. You are already doing a great job as a mom, a wife and at your work place.

    The school holidays is really near. Hope you will have a great holiday and rejuvenate yourself. Take care.

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    1. Merryn, thank you so much for your kind thoughts. I really appreciate it. They are having their exam this week. I will to let go a bit on their performance since I have done my part to help them.

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  9. It is good that you are aware of all this to write it down here and then take steps to balance your day and slow down a bit. Please take good care of yourself so that you can then take care of your children and family.

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    1. Thanks Mun for your kind thoughts and lovely comments. I have started to slow down my pace and adjust my life.

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  10. This is my second visit after thinking so hard how to comment. Anay worry about writing long long grandma comments again. LOLOL

    Honestly, there is no right and wrong in your lifestyle. In fact you are a very disciplined and good mama & wife compared to thousands. I think deep inside you, there is a hidden guilt that confuses you sometimes. So it is all inside your mind that is telling you that you have physical stress.

    I could say this because I observed my wife often had similar stress with her Tai Chi, Yoga, Running and university too. When she missed these crammed activities, she would feel frustrated! Then she would blame herself this and that, when we don;t even have kids to worry. So I found that she missed out so many activities, studies and blah blah from childhood because she had very abusive parents. Now I guess she gets pleasure for catching up with everything she missed out from young. Are you having same syndrome? Take it easy and restart your routine & activities again.

    I try to solve my wife's dilemma by going for holidays 3-4 times a year. Going to massage, karaoke and movies are the best medicine to release every single stress that have bottled up inside our bodies.

    Yannie Boleh!!!

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    1. Thanks Anay for making my day.
      In fact I don't have much free time for myself. Most of the time I occupy myself with activity like what i always mention in my blog. I either spend time with JAM, or I spend time exercise or I work. I am always on the go. Sometime I enjoy this type of lifestyle, sometime I feel exhausted too. Like you say, no right or wrong.

      It is good that Anay takes time out to go holiday, movie or massage with Letchumy. She is blessed to have you, such a thoughtful man as her husband.

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  11. Hopefully this coming school holiday will give you the much needed rest la.

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    1. Meow, thanks for dropping by. I hope so.

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  12. Relax, don't push yourself too hard. We are humans, not machines. Have a bit of me- time, let go sometimes, close one eye.

    Would be sad if something bad happens - even machines, like cars break down too and all the problems arise just because of that. I am sure you and everyone else around you would not want such a thing to happen.

    Pray, meditate - would be a good start.

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    1. Arthur, thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate it. Close one eye? This indeed right, I am too persistent.

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  13. good that you realize what is causing you stress. i think it would be good to slow down a bit? otherwise lack of sleep may lead to a host of problems like getting irritated easily, which you already realize, moody, etc. most importantly, the people who feel it most will be your closest. so, sometimes it's good to slow things down a bit. hope you are feeling better, Yan :)

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    1. Barb, lacking of sleep is a big issue for me too. I am trying to move in slower pace. I am feeling so much better after pouring all out here. Thanks for all your lovely comments. I really appreciate it.

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